


sadly we settle for what we're used to even if what we're used to is pain

by RoxieOfficial



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Abusive Bryce, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Non-Con/Rape Outside of Justin Foley/Alex Standall, Past Sexual Abuse, Pre-Relationship, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-15 00:45:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14148225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoxieOfficial/pseuds/RoxieOfficial
Summary: Takes place the night of Jessica's party. Follows the scene where we see Bryce entering Jess' room while she is unconscious in it.We get an insight of what was going on in Justin's head at that moment.





	sadly we settle for what we're used to even if what we're used to is pain

**Author's Note:**

> Before you start reading my work, I have a few things to say. Please, bear with me. 
> 
> 1\. Most people saw Justin's reaction ( aka, freezing ) as problematic. What you need to know is that, when faced with danger, people have three possible reactions: freeze, flight or fight. In this case, Justin froze.
> 
> 2\. As we all know, Justin's situation at home wasn't the best. He might have been abused at home. I'm not trying to excuse what he did, but if he faces abuse and violence on a daily basis, he just got “ used to it ” and is probably scared of standing up for himself.
> 
> 3\. This story is canon divergent, as you will see.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this, now, you may enjoy my story. :)

When Bryce had pushed him on the floor, Justin froze. He started hyperventilating as memories crept into his mind. This felt too familiar. 

He remembers being 12 when Seth had first abused him. When he had first _used_ him.

_Justin whimpered as Seth pushed him on his bed. The man unbuckled his own belt, then Justin's._

_“ Wha— D-Don't hurt me, please, ” Justin had pleaded. His mom wasn't home; there was no one to save him._

_Calloused hands rid him of his shirt and pants, leaving him in only his boxers._

Justin shuddered at the thought. He was unable to move and, because of him, Jess would've to go through the same thing that he has been going through for years now. On the bright side, this would be a one-time thing for her, unlike for Justin. Not that it reduced the consequences or the trauma in any way. One time was enough to be scarred for life, Justin knew that for a fact.

The brunet heard someone climb the stairs in a hurry. The person crouched beside him; it was only Standall. “ What happened? ” he asked Justin, helping him get back on his feet. 

“ B-Bryce, ” he blurted out.

Just saying his name scared him to his core. Justin still remembers the first time he forced himself on him. He had been 15 at the time; Bryce had just turned 18. Bryce had bought him new shoes for basketball and had asked Justin to return the favor. There was no way Justin could've avoided this, he was too frail compared to Bryce and he was half as strong. Besides, Bryce was the only person who let him sleep at his house. Where would he go if not there? He had had no choice.

_“ Bet you want me to fill you up, huh? ” Bryce had whispered in his ear, gripping his hips so hard, Justin knew without a doubt that he would have bruises there the next day. Justin could feel Bryce's boner against his ass._

_“ No, no, no, no, no, ” Justin had thought, squeezing his eyes shut._

_“ Bet you wanna beg for it, am I right? C'mon Justin, don't be shy. I want to hear you beg for it. ”_

_The brunet winced when Bryce cupped him through his boxers. He despised his body for betraying him like that._

_“ Beg or Daddy won't be nice, ” Bryce raised his voice._

_“ P-Please, ” Justin pleaded, not for Bryce's cock, but for help._

“ Justin? ” Alex asked, still standing beside him. He had put a hand on his shoulder and was looking at him with tenderness. “ Where's Bryce? ”

The brunet didn't trust his voice anymore, so he just pointed at the door in front of him. Alex stood and picked the lock ( Alex always kept bobby pins on him because of his little sisters ). Fortunately for Jess, Alex entered the room just in time. Alex, although he didn't look it, was strong. He kicked Bryce out of Jess' bedroom. He stayed with the girl for as long as she was unconscious, afraid that someone would try to hurt her again.

After she had woken up, he had to take care of Justin. His state of mind was more fragile than he had expected. He knew Justin was dealing with some shit at home, hut he didn't know what kind and how much it was affecting the brunet.

“ You're coming home with me, alright? ” Alex told him.

Justin's shoulders were still tensed and his breathing was unsteady.

 

“ What happened earlier, Justin? What were you afraid of? ” Alex asked, eyes fixed on the road in front of him. The night had long settled in their small town. Alex felt relatively calm; darkness had always had this effect on him.

“ I-I thought he'd try t-to rape me again, ” Justin spoke, voice so quiet Alex barely heard him.

The shock of this revelation made Alex brake abruptly. He turned to look at Justin. The brunet had drawn up his legs and was resting his chin on his knees. Alex had never seen the other boy in such a vulnerable state.

“ W-Why does everyone think it's okay to hurt me? ” he asked as softly as before. He looked at Alex, eyes full of tears. “ O-Or is it me that brings the worst in everyone? ” His bottom lip quivered, tears threatened to escape his sad blue eyes. Alex witnessed the boy slowly shattering right in front of him.

“ Fuck, Justin, no! Y-You're not the problem. ” Alex pulled him in a tight hug. Their position was awkward, mostly due to the stick shift between them. “ I'm sorry some people fucked you over, but I _swear_ , I am not one of them. I don't want to hurt you. ” Alex murmured in the brunet's hair.

_He remembers the shame that had followed after Bryce had pulled out of him. He was ashamed of the event in itself, yes, but his reaction was, for him, far worse. His body had betrayed him, and Bryce had noticed. Moreover, Bryce had kindly reminded him of this._

_“ Whatever you say, Justin, you must've wanted this. How else do you explain this? ” Bryce asked, showing him his hand full of his cum. “ Now get the fuck out of my room, you whore. ” Bryce pushed him off the bed. Justin fell on the floor harder than he had expected. His limbs were shaking as he tried pulling himself up. Everything hurt. His naked, battered body was shaking like a leaf as he left the boy's room. Waves of disgust hit him._

“ I-I don't want people to hurt me anymore, Alex, ” Justin admitted. “ I don't think I can handle it. ”

“ I'll protect you, ” Alex sadly smiled, rubbing small circles in the boy's back. “ From now on, you're staying at my house, okay? ”

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from one of r. h. Sin's poems.


End file.
